The Jack Dawson Diaries
by moonsongbird.95
Summary: Jack Dawson has had a rough start in life.To escape his despair,he runs away.To battle the events of his life,he turns to an addiction,spiralling into the depths of the New York drug underworld. Can anyone save him from self destruction? Present Time,rated M for bad language, violence, and sensitive themes ( mostly drug use) All reviews welcome :)!
1. 25th November

**Hello everyone :) This is my first story on here,and i hope you enjoy it.I have been writing fan-fiction for several years now,but never published most of it because i am busy i guess :P I have been working on this one for a few years now. Anyway,enjoy the story and if you have any constructive criticism please let me know :D! Reviews are all welcome :)!**

**Some scenes are loosely based around the film "The Basketball Diaries". Another of Leo`s films,based on the diaries of Jim Carroll and his battle with drugs, can find it on Youtube if anyone wants to watch it :)!**

**Disclaimer****: ****I own nothing, except my own characters,everything else like Jack,Rose,etc- that all belongs to Mr James Cameron.**

**Ali xx**

25th November 

Lisa Dawson was rather unhappy with her marriage, to say the least. George Dawson had been uncompromising, unfaithful, and uncaring towards her and the children for the past 6 years.

After the death of his brother, Tony, his alcoholism had only got worse. Spending their life savings, living on welfare, and popping prescription pills, was not what Lisa had planned her life to be.

Of course, they had had 5 beautiful children: but to see them hungry? To see them afraid, and angry at the world? To see them spiralling into the depths of poverty and depression?

She couldn't watch her children suffer anymore.

had to get out of if it was only temporary.

"I`m leaving".

"What?" her drunken husband slurred.

"I can`t take this anymore, George. You, and I .We only got married because I was pregnant in the first place. At first, yes, things were good. But then the good times ended, and you destroyed everything because of that. You know what? Shit happens in life. Bad things happen. But you have to stand up, and battle against them."

"Whatever, Lisa. I`m not listening to this."

"I'm leaving. I need time to clear my head, have a life for myself. The kids will no doubt be taken away soon enough…and you? You'll rot here, a drunken slob, with nobody left."

"Keep your hair on woman" George giggled. His drunken state was no aid to the situation, only infuriating Lisa more. Her blue eyes raged, scanning over the man who she had once fallen deeply in love with. Part of her felt an immense sadness that things were no longer the same, but she could not succumb to such feelings again.

"I`m going George. Tell my darlings I said Goodbye." She whispered, calmly approaching the door, suitcase in hand.

Lisa Dawson had left.

George realised this was no longer a game: she was gone. For good: he had lived with her long enough to know when she meant something or not.

Slouching up out of the chair,he opened the window and yelled out to the streets below.

"Lisa? Lisa? Come back, stupid bitch!"

His eyes were drooping,as he succumbed to tiredness,retiring to his chair again.

"This is all a dream…"he mumbled to himself "a very bad dream."

**Hope you enjoyed,please review :D!**

**xx**


	2. Raining

**Hello again :D thanks if you have read the first chapter,i know it was short was a Prologue really,the story really starts here!** **For anyone confused who George and Lisa are,They are Jack`s parents :)  
In this chapter,we meet Jack,and Jim Carroll,hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer-I own nothing,sadly :(.Except my own characters.**

**xx**

Rain was pouring furiously in New York City. She hit the projects in Manhattan, and began dripping through the ceilings of the aging buildings.

Jack Dawson was one of the residents, listening silently to her. He liked the rain-she made him feel at peace, which he hadn't felt in a long time. He couldn't sleep despite this though.

He had overheard every word that his Mother had said: the whole block had probably heard, in all fairness. Surprisingly, he was the only sibling awake as a result.

Stumbling, he sat up in bed. He gazed into the window pane, realising the pain that his eyes began to form: hesitantly, he cried.

If his Mom had really, truly loved him, then why was he sitting here now, lying in cold, broken bed, clutching a thin sheet for comfort? Why was there so little food, that he collapsed one day at school? If things where this bad, why had nobody taken them away?

He couldn`t stand this. If this was life, what was the point?

"It ain`t gonna get no better" he whispered to himself in a mantra.

He needed to get out: clear his head a bit, before the next day of torment. Stretching, he clambered out of bed, being careful not to wake his younger siblings: all of whom shared a room with him.

There was his eldest sister, Madison. She was 14, and the one he least got along with. She thought of herself as extremely mature, using this as an excuse for hiding things from Jack. He resented her for this, since he was only a year younger. She was a beautiful girl, with blonde hair like Jack's, but green eyes. Her hair had a reddish tint to it, making it more strawberry blonde. Jack thought she was depressed quite a lot, and she spent a lot of the time out the flat, doing things Jack didn't even want to think about.

Then there were his two younger brothers, Cassius and Kyle. Cass (as Jack affectionately called him) was 10 years old, and the brother Jack loved the most. It wasn't that he disliked Kyle, but Cass was closer in age. They had grown up more together, and were renown in there old neighbourhood for pulling pranks all the time. Cass had shaggy blonde hair too, that flicked over into his eyes. He had deep blue eyes, and platinum white teeth. He also had a slight tan, which was from the Mediterranean roots on his Father`s side.

Kyle was 7, and really, quite naïve of most things, due to his age. Despite this, he had developed a stance against emotions and sensitive issues, and whenever he was hurt he didn't cry, or run home. He was already getting into scraps with neighbouring children. Jack worried, but what could he do? He tried his best, and school did as well, but they had lost hope really on the Dawson boys. They were just another lost case, swallowed in the system.

Finally, there was his baby sister, Scarlett. She was 2, and full of the restless energy that all toddlers seem to possess. She was happy, and her joys with life made Jack want to start over, and make things better for his sister. His brothers and him were lost, but his sister? She could be saved from all this grief. Already, she was falling victim to their father: when she cried, he shouted. She had learnt not to cry when "Dada" was angry, or drunk. Jack could sense her fear, it capsized into his body. He had been a parent to her more than Lisa and George Dawson, who were too caught up in their personal issues to provide the nurturing love that she needed.

Love. That was what Jack needed.

* * *

Slipping on his exhausted trainers, he pulled on his beloved grey Nike hoodie, which his best friend Marty had given him before he moved: he missed Marty; he was the only person he told why they were moving.

These thoughts jumbled around in his mind, as he snuck out the flat.  
He jumped into the lift, which squeaked as it travelled down the 12 floors, and a sudden ground to a halt threw open the doors.

Where was he going? He didn`t really know. He didn`t even know if he would bother going back to the grimy little flat.  
He yanked up his hood, mooching slowly along the flooded pavements.  
A bus shelter was nearby.  
_Shelter _he thought to himself. Pulling up all his strength, he jogged across the road, and collapsed into a seat.

*********************************  
Jack awoke bleary eyed, and noticed he was not alone: an older boy was sitting nearby him. His blonde hair was as wet as Jack's, and a snug black hat was covering his head. He was covered in bruises, and he had extremely pale clammy looking skin. An arm was held out, and a needle took place in the other.

"What you looking at?" he snapped.  
"Nothing, I didn't mean to bother you," Jack shrugged.  
The older boy nodded in acceptance of this.

"What`s that?" Jack enquired. He was only 13, and until his recent move had had a pretty sheltered upbringing, not being exposed to any of the brutalities of the streets.

"What's what?", the older boy eyed Jack strangely, as if he didn't quite understand why he didn't know what it was.  
"That," he said waving a finger at the needle. "The needle thing."  
The older boy grinned sinisterly and laughed. "This? You don`t want this. It's too nice for a kid like you."  
They sat there in silence for a few minutes, gazing into the skies. Jack realised that, in spite of all the pain he felt, and the rip in his heart that had formed, this world was still beautiful. Above the skyscrapers, the blocks felt the graceful moon gaze down.

The older boy said to Jack, "So, what you doin' out on a night like this?"  
"I could say the same to you," he replied.  
The boy laughed again. "Oh, smart one, are we?"  
"Not really," Jack sighed.  
They were silent again for a few minutes until the boy added, "Tough time?"  
"Kind of."  
"Bet it's your Dad. It's always the dads. That or drugs. Or gangs…"  
"Everything," Jack answered. "Everything in my life, just ain`t worth living for. What's the point?"  
The boy sat up slowly. "What is it though?"  
Jack shrugged.  
"I`m not gonna post it on Facebook" raising his voice a little. Jack noted a strange glint had appeared in his eyes, probably due to the needle thing.  
Another few minutes passed.  
"It's my Dad."

"Knew about your Dad?"  
"He...he...he drinks. A lot. He gets through a bottle of vodka in a day."  
"I`ve heard a lot worse, but still that's a lot."  
Jack bit his lip. "I know. That stuffs pretty nasty, even by his standards."  
"So? Why aren`t you in the kids home? I mean, damn I've met some fucked up people but most of them aren't even at home anymore,"said Jim,as he lit up a cigarette.

"That's just `ve been visited by the council loads of times. And because we knew they were coming, we pretended it was all it's not, it never has been. I was just too naïve to realise."  
He was crying now, tears streaming down his pale stricken face.

The boy was looking at him, slightly with apprehension but also sympathy. "What's your name, kid?"  
"Jack. Jack Dawson."  
"I`m Jim. Jim ,I know some people around here, so if you ever need any help with anything…you ain`t alone out here".  
Finally feeling like he had something worth living for, Jack was a small smile,barely noticeable,but it was as he did so, the sun began to tilt over the city, her orange tinge basking the blocks in her light.  
"Listen, I gotta go. Dad will be awake soon, and he hates me as it is," Jack explained.  
Jim smiled" It's fine, you get home. I'll seeya around."

Jack waved, and made his way as slow as possible back home.

**What did everyone think? I know its slow moving at the moment,but i enjoy writing detail and building up to important events :) Hope you enjoyed,please REVIEW :D C/C is welcome!**

**xx**


	3. Nowhere boy

**Heyy lovely people :D Thank you to all those have reviewed so far,you have really made me smile! It was great to hear some feedback.**

**Robisawesome- I forgot to mention when in the Present time it is set lol oops…this is set in the early 2000s,I think Facebook was around 2003/2004? Yeh, so this is around then :D**

**A/N There are scenes of violence in this chapter...you have been warned!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing James Cameron created. But I wish I owned Leo Dicaprio,Orlando Bloom, Will Smith, Channing Tatum…you get the idea.**

**xx**  
Jack arrived back at his flat as quietly as possible. His trainers squeaked on the laminated floor outside, as he nervously opened the door.

He felt something hit his face, and realised it was spit from his Dad. It dripped down his cheek, as he turned around to face the man he once called "Daddy". The man he had once thought of as the best person in the world. The man who had once loved him unconditionally.

The man who now made him fear for his life.

"Where have you been, you little shit," his Dad`s eyes were bleary and red, and his skin was pasty, verging on grey. Jack couldn't tell if it was from lack of sleep, alcohol, or both put together. He figured it was most likely to be both.

"Out," he replied,queitly .  
"Out? You been looking for your bitchy Mom, huh? Have you?" His hands were holding tightly onto Jack`s arms. His heart was pounding: he had been afraid before, but then his Mom had always been around to stop things going any further.  
"No."  
"Don`t get smart with me!" he roared at him. Jack could feel his ears whimpering in pain at the sound. The grip was tightening, his Dad`s teeth were gnashing together.  
"Leave me alone!" he shouted back, attempting to push his Dad off him.

He struggled, as a fist hit his jaw, the ground welcomed him. George Dawson had been an amateur Boxer in his youth, and still retained the strong `s eyes were stinging, and in his wild panic, he fought back.  
His Dad lashed out again, this time hitting near his eye. He felt kicks against his stomach, kick after kick. Rolling over in agony, he whimpered, as tears mixed with blood.

"Next time, maybe you`ll think about going out" George Dawson muttered.

He hoisted Jack up, and pushed him away, as he made his way back towards the sofa, settling down with a bottle of Jack Daniels and an NBA match on TV.  
Jack felt blood dripping down his face, and a puffy bruise forming around his eye. His face was badly bruised, and his stomach was aching so badly: he was afraid that he had suffered internal bleeding. You could die from that right? He thought to himself. Jack did not know much about medicine, but he knew enough from programmes such as ER.

Jack made his way towards the bathroom.

He bit his lip, looking at himself in the mirror. His jaw was swelling up now, it felt fractured. The skin around his eye was sore, and he didn't even think about touching the tap, he splashed the freezing water onto his horrendous face. He didn`t recognise himself.

Lifting up his top, he inspected the swelling, and marks were beginning to form. Carefully, he pressed a sponge against them, biting his lip so not to moan with pain. After doing this, he also noted how skinny he had become: he really needed a better diet.

Sighing, the realisation hit that he was trapped in here all day, until his Dad passed out or fell asleep.

_4 hours later_  
Jack awoke from a short sleep he had been taking: the bath was unusually comfortable. Bleary eyed, the soft blue orbs enjoyed the afternoon sunshine through the window. A sudden urge to draw the scene came over him, but he was stopped, as  
soft wailing was coming from the next room that his youngest sister, Scarlett was in.

She was the apple of his eye, with her little head of blonde curls. And he treated her more like his own child than a sister. Normally, Jack was there to protect her, unable to understand how his Dad could start on a child who was barely 2 years old.

"Shut up you brat!" George Dawson screeched.  
What if he hurt her so bad, that he ended up killing her? He would go throughout his life, feeling guilt over the fact he hadn`t been there? It was bad enough as it was, but with a dead sister? No, he could not let that happen.

Fearfully, Jack turned the lock, running as quickly as possible towards the room. A grunt came from the lounge, as Jack realised his Dad had fallen asleep.  
Jack gulped. He quickly put Scarlett into her coat and pushchair, strapping her tightly in, handing her a soft toy, opened the door, to find his Dad knocked out: cradling the Jack Daniels.

It pained Jack to see what his Father had become-but it was too late to save him now.

He grabbed a pen and grubby piece of paper, and began to scrawl: his handwriting was not good, since he hadn't really bothered with school.

He had been enrolled,but he never really went: when he did go, all he felt was angry, anxious, and frustrated. They branded him a "problem child" who was a "disruption". He had been to 5 schools in the past 3 years.

He threw it on the coffee table, carefully shutting the door.

_Back Soon._  
_Jack and Scarlett x_

Jack Dawson was scared. He tried putting on the tough guy act normally, but to be honest. It wasn't him.  
Inside he was abandoned.

He had nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to. All his family were out of state, the ones his family were still in contact with were few. He did not know anyone on his Mother's side; they had disowned her after her marriage to George, claiming he was "no good" for her. His friends from school? He didn't really have many; ones he had used to be close to were long gone, with a completely different life to his own.

He was a nowhere boy. Nowhere to go, nobody to love him.

_10:30PM_  
He pushed Scarlett along slowly, as he was trying to summon all his strength to do so. It was getting late, and after walking around downtown Manhattan all day, he was not at all up to doing this. He had taken Scarlett to a playground, and then brought her something to eat with the spare change he had: he had brought nothing for himself, he did not have enough.

Jack didn`t even know where they were, as it was very unfamiliar. It all looked the same to him: he was guessing they were somewhere in Bronx, after he remembered this was where his friend Shug used to had been another good friend, who he had met after playing basketball one day. Jack used to visit Shug in the Bronx, until he moved after his parents split up.

He spotted an alley, and double checked to make sure there were no dodgy people around: he sunk onto the ground, rubbing his temples angrily. He gently took Scarlett out of the pushchair, and rocked her against his chest till she fell into a peaceful slumber.

"Fuck you Dad..."he mumbled. With that, he fell asleep, with a hungry lurch in his stomach, and his bruises beginning to show.

He awoke to an ear piercing squeal, and realised unhappily it was his sister. Her face was red with rage from hunger, and her blue eyes were filled with tears and again, like him, she was damaged, hurt, and abandoned.

"I`m sorry, Scar," he mumbled.

"Hungry"

"I know you are…"

Scarlett touched his face, her gentle little hands stroking his bruises, as Jack tried not to cry again. She knew something was wrong, but didn't know what, as she tried to comfort him in the only way she knew.

"Jack hurt" she simply stated.

"That's right, baby," Jack tried to put on a brave face for her, as her deep innocent eyes bored into his soul, "Hurt, but he`s going to be alright."

"Dada?" she questioned. She was quick to catch on to these things, Jack thought to himself.

"Yeh, it was Dada, baby. But he can`t hurt us no more, we ain`t going back there," he spoke, as he affectionately kissed her hand. Scarlett blinked, and then began to cry.

"Hungry!" she sobbed.

The realisation hit Jack that he had not thought this through properly. All he had taken were clothes, a toothbrush/wash kit, Spare change, (no more than a couple of dollars) and a few toys and such for Scarlett.

As if his prayer was answered, he spotted a Community outreach centre across the street: the notice up said "Soup Kitchen, 8AM-8PM, Every day"

Saying a quick thanks to whoever was up there (he had long ago given up his faith in the Christian type of God) he was about to strap Scarlett into the pushchair, when he realised it had been taken, as it was no longer there.

Rule one of the streets- Look after everything. Don't blink, or it'll be gone: that includes yourself.

**Dun Dun Dun! Jack has left home with Scarlett... what is next for these two? Btw,for any Rose fans out there,shes doesn`t appear for a while...this is mostly Jack focused at first,lol. But Rose is one of my favourite characters too :p**

**Sorry if there are any typos,my document reader is being strange,and keeps deleting random words...hope it is okay.**

**Anyways,hope you enjoyed the chapter :D! C/C is welcome,please review,its lovely to get some feedback!**

**xx**


	4. Morning moves

**Morning moves**

Jack shuffled in nervously to the Kitchen, he was worried in case they asked where his parents were as he looked so young: sure enough, his wish was granted: as he was served his bread, a woman enquired:

"Hey son, where your parents at?"

His heartbeat raced: he couldn't tell them the truth, they would ring social services for sure. Biting his lip, he muttered "At home, in bed. They didn't want no food this morning."

"Huh.I haven't seen you here before."

Why was this woman asking so many questions? All he wanted to do was eat. Scarlett was grizzling again, and Jack refused to answer the woman. She sensed his annoyance, and waved him away with her hand. He breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down, balancing Scarlett on his knee so she could reach her food.

They ate in an unusual silence, which was probably due to hunger and a lingering tiredness. Whilst Jack was physically tired, he was mostly drained mentally. Scarlett was a handful, but he was able to deal with her: the questions swirling around in his head, he was not.

How were they going to eat? Where would they live? What about money? What if Scarlett got taken? What if, What if….

Stop it Jack, he scolded himself, that isn't going to help.

Sighing, he asked Scarlett if she wanted anything else.

"Milk" she giggled. Jack had to hand it to her, she really knew how to lift his spirits up. He could see her becoming an actress or something in her future life: that was,if they got that far.

_If_. Jack hated if.

A clatter on a table nearby awoke jack from his daydreaming, as he turned around to see two youths fist fighting. They were shabbily dressed and wearing ragged hats to protect against the bitter weather.

He could hear shards of their conversation, as the volunteers tried to tear them away from one another. Jack felt the bile in his throat as one of the men smacked one around the face. The volunteer had gone back to the kitchen, acting as if it were an ordinary occurrence.

They were both hoisted up, and thrown out. Another shabbily dressed figure then entered, and began asking questions to different people.

"Hey Miss, have you seen two guys…?"

"Er Sir, you seen two guys…?"

Everyone seemed reluctant to talk, and Jack recognised the voice of the person, although he could not place who it belonged to.

He reached Jack`s spot, and asked "Scuse me, you seen two guys…"he paused mid-sentence, as though he were having an epiphany "Hey, I know you!"

Jack turned to face him, and came face to face with Jim Carroll yet again. Despite knowing he was not the best person in the world, relief swept over at the recognition of somebody other than himself and Scarlett.

"Jim", he smiled "How are you?"

"I`m doin' fine man, just fine…the question is, what are you doing here,huh?" Jack felt Jim staring at him, and bit his lip whilst carefully choosing his words.

"I left. Dad beat me up when I got home, so we packed up and went" he rushed his words: for some reason, he felt nervous around others now, as a result of his constant abuse from his Father.

"We? Who is we?"

"Me and my little sister," Jack moved to reveal Scarlett behind him.

Jim raised an eyebrow, as if he were voicing his concern through such an action. Jack was tempted to explain himself, but he felt it was not necessary: Rule two of the streets was Don't ask questions.

"Where are you staying then?" Jim asked after clearing his throat.

Jack bit his lip, and finally shrugged and said "Nowhere. We haven't got anywhere to go really…"

"Woah, woah, woah," Jim cut him off, "You slept with your sister last night, on the streets of this city?"

"Erm, Yeh"

Jim drew in a sharp breathe "Damn, kid. That was dangerous…things go on around here at night."

"I know. The pushchair was taken when I woke up," Jack tried to laugh about it, but he couldn't: he hadn't laughed in a while.

Jim slung an arm around his shoulder, and said "Hey, you can come hang out with me and my friends. I know it isn't a safe building or anything, but more people are more protection right? And we'll look out for you, cus you're one of our own".

Jack thought about Jim and the needle things, so he asked "Do your friends use the needle things too?"

Jim seemed surprised at this question, and gave a slight lopsided smile. "Erm… sometimes. But hey, you'll be alright with us, trust me," he said, looking at Jack forcefully in the eyes, without blinking.

"And my sister?"

"She can come too, if you want. But I'm warning you, these streets? They aren't safe. She would probably be better off…"

Jack knew what he was going to say, and stopped him "No .I won't leave her with strangers, I promised her."

Jim hesitantly nodded. "Well, let's go then."

Jack shuffled slowly behind Jim as they made their way out the door, and the crisp morning air hit his face. Scarlett was holding his hand very firmly, and Jim looked back every now and then to make sure he was still there.

Eventually, they reached their destination: an old, ram shackled building, which looked like it was falling down. They walked inside, and Jack`s eyes widened as he looked at the amount of people in here: most were asleep, or too drugged up to notice him staring at them all.

"Jim, are these people meant to be here?" he whispered nervously.

"Yeh, this is what it's for" he smirked.

Jack felt a little nervous about this: maybe going with Jim had not been one of the best ideas in the world. But he was here now, and he didn't really have anywhere else to go.

Rule three of the streets: Stick together.

**Hey everyone :) **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, sorry for the long update, I have been busy going back to college and stuff ( college in the UK is for 16-18 year olds, we call it 6****th**** Form sometimes, depending on where you go :p) But anyways,hope you are all good and please read and Review review review :D! I love hearing feedback, good or bad!**

**In the next chapter, things start to get more interesting, with Jack now falling into Jim's lifestyle *dun dun dun* haha.**

**Stay blessed,**

**Alice xxx**


	5. Good kid

**Chapter 5**

**Hey everyone! Sorry for long updates again, I have been busy at college and working on my other story called 'Mukiwa' (a Blood Diamond fan fiction, check it out if you are interested :D).Anyways, here is the next chapter and I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Stay blessed**

**Xxxx**

Jack refused to go to sleep. He felt so tense, watching all these people- some were arguing, but mostly just quiet, or too drugged up.

Why was he even here? He should have just called the Social, or something .Sighing, he realised he was hungry, but didn't really feel like telling Jim, since he knew Jim's favourite thing to consume was not his own.

Jim was now coming up the stairs with 2 other people. One was small, and looked slightly Hispanic, with dark hair and an olive complexion. The other had straight brown hair, and a rough face, with quite a large lower jaw. Jack wasn't afraid of them, but still felt slightly apprehensive. Scarlett was lucky, and had fallen asleep.

Jim awoke him from his thoughts.

"Hey Jack, I want ya to meet these people."

Jack looked up, and nodded. "How you doin'?"

The one on the left laughed, and the one on the right smirked. Jack was confused; if they didn't want to meet him, why were they here?

Jim noticed his confusion, raising his eyebrows. "Hey, guys, come on. Be nice, yeh?"

The one on the left was still laughing, whilst the one on the right elbowed him, rolling his eyes.

"Ignore him. I'm Mickey. This is Pedro."

Jack nodded again, whilst they mumbled to themselves- he wasn't sure what they were saying, as his thoughts were drifting again.

They all turned around to face him. Mickey spoke first.

"Hey kid, how's about you help us with a favour, huh?"

"What favour?" Jack asked. He didn't really like favours. Usually, the result for him was negative.

"Well, uh, we need money, you see? So uh, we were gonna borrow some money from a candy store, yeh?"

Jack nodded again. He knew they were going to steal, but he was too hungry to care. All he wanted was money now: he craved it, and now understood why those thieves were on the streets each night.

"What do you want me to do?"

* * *

It was dark when they reached the shop, and it was all closed up. Mickey had informed Jack of the plan: he was to wait outside, and let them know when the Police came or if they were disturbed. If they were, he shouted, and they ran.

Yet, he still felt apprehensive about such a feet. His Mama always told him stealing was wrong- right?

"Fuck it," he muttered, which did not go un-noticed by the others. Jim turned around.

"Feelings are mutual, my friend," he laughed. Jack smirked; he had to hand it to him: Jim knew how to make him laugh. Yeh, he was an addict, and could be cruel and selfish. But he didn't really have anyone else.

They reached the shop, and Jim, Mickey, and Pedro snuck inside. Jack could hear the rumbling around: they were making a lot of noise for so few people.

What was going on in there? He had been 10 minutes; surely they had got what was needed by now?

He heard sirens in the distance: just as he was about to inform them, Mickey burst out the door.

"Run man!" he shouted. Jack ran as fast as he had ever ran in his life: he didn't even know where he was going, just as far away from here. He turned around, and saw Jim had caught up with them, and was saying something about how they "Got Pedro".

Catching breathe, they stopped. Jim was the first to speak.

"Hey…Mickey…go…get…the…fix…"he said hastily, between breathes. Mickey nodded, and walked off into an alley. Jack sat on the pavement, and pulled his jacket closer, against the freezing weather.

Jim joined him, and lit up a cigarette. For a few minutes, there was a comfortable silence, which Jim then broke.

"Ya know,Jack,When I was young, about eight or so, I tried making friends with God by inviting Him to my house to watch the World Series. He never showed."

Jack turned to face him.

"So? What's your point?" he asked.

Jim had a dazed expression, like he was in a world of his own.

"My point is that God ain't gonna listen to you. Since he don't care, who cares about what is wrong? We gotta get by somehow, huh?"

Jack was still confused as to the point of this statement, but decided to nod and agree. Jim clapped him on the back.

"You're a good kid, Jack. Not like 'cha ever turn out like me here, alright?"he was whispering by this point.

Jack turned, and looked him in the eye. "You're good too, Jim. The goodness just went into hiding a long time ago."

* * *

Mickey had now returned, with the fix for the night. Both he and Jim greedily opened the bag, whilst Jack looked on. Jim looked up at him.

"Hey Jack, you want some? We got a…uh… lil' spare."

Jack hesitated. Drugs were bad, right? But a little bit wouldn't do anything.

"What is it?"

"Just a bit of smack. Come on man...lil bit ain't gonna hurt you."

Jack still hesitated. He knew that smack was heroin, but he didn't really understand the whole drugs classifications anyway, since nobody taught them to him. And he was so hungry still, maybe this would stop the gnawing pain in his stomach…

"Okay." He nodded. Jim, who was now stretched out in a dazed manner, passed him the needle. Jack assumed that he just put it into his arm. Rolling up his sleeve, he winced as the needle pricked him, and a sudden warm feeling came over him, washing away the shivers and cold.

He felt so relaxed. And he didn't feel hungry anymore, it was…well, good, he thought. He felt quite sleepy, and decided to stretch back against the wall where they were sitting, and contently smiled. Jim and Mickey also sat back, and had the same dazed expressions still.

Falling asleep, he realised he felt good for the first time in months, if not years.

**There we go :D Chapter 5 is up! I hope you all enjoyed it; I tried to make it as accurate as possible and researched the effects of heroin.**

**The line spoken by Jim about making friends with God is a direct quote from the film, and the scene where they break into the candy shop is also in the film too. So I don't own those bits,obviously :p **

**Read and review please :D! C/C is welcome.**

**xxxx**


	6. Goodbye

**Chapter 6**

**Hello again everyone! Hope you are all doin' good, here is the next chapter.**

**Sorry for long updates once again, I have been doing lots of coursework recently along with sorting out university applications, and trying to organise my life. I am really sorry about this! Also my laptop has been having problems recently,I think I am going to need a new one,but anyways,on with the story!**

**Rose will be along soon,but not too soon.i want to make this Jack's story,which she walks into.**

**Read and review please! C/C is welcome :D**

**Xxxx**

Shards of light glinted through his eyelids.

Jack slowly opened his orbs, squinting at the early morning haze. The blocks were basking under her, as his ears noted the sirens, wails, and noise that were so familiar to New York City.

Turning to his left, he noticed Jim and Mickey were still out. But where was…

Oh my god.

He couldn't breathe properly: the realisation hit that he had left his sister in the horrible building, in the care of one of Jim's 'friends'.

His heart couldn't stop going: he had promised her that she would always be alright, nobody would ever hurt her. What if she wasn't even there anymore?

Don't say that Jack. Don't.

As he got up, he stumbled. Why did he feel so weak? All he wanted to do was feel happy…and his hunger pangs had returned.

He attempted to shake Jim awake, with poor results. Sighing, he realised he was on his own, and made his way back to the old building.

He tried to run, but it was still slow. His reactions were so poor today: and he was so hungry…

Without hesitance, he stumbled into the building, and shouted.

"Scarlett! Scarlett?"

Silence.

"Scar?" he asked, with fear in his tone.

A small cry could be heard from above.

"Scarlett? It's Jack, where are you?"

He could hear her wail, and made his way up the steps, past the random addicts on his way. How he longed to feel that peace of mind and happiness…

No, Jack, he told himself. It was a one off. It wouldn't happen again.

* * *

He could see Scarlett, huddled in her blanket, leaning against the wall. She was quite well hidden: smart kid, Jack thought.

He tried to run towards her, but she toddled to him first.

"Jack!" she squealed. "Jack, I'm hungry. Where you go?"

Jack held her small frame against himself, vowing he would never let harm come to her.

"Jack went to see some friends."

She bought his excuse, and nodded. "Where now?"

Jack hadn't thought of this. What were they going to do every day?

She began to cry again. "Hungry, Jack! Hungry!"

Jack then realised that he could no longer do this.

He was 14 years old: how on earth was he meant to take care of a toddler? He had no money, no job, and no education. Nothing to offer her…and he loved her, beyond reason, beyond this life, and the universe. And he always would.

But right now?

He couldn't take care of her now. It would be selfish and cruel of him to keep her in this predicament.

Of course, he didn't want her to go. What sane person wants to give up the person they love the most in the world? Jack didn't have much experience of love, but he knew that was what he felt for his sister.

He was rocking her in his arms, attempting to get her to sleep whilst these thoughts swirled around his mind.

She was sleeping now: her tears were still stained against her pale cheeks.

Jack wanted to write something to her: he shuffled through his pockets, searching for paper, and a pen. At the bottom of his jacket pocket, he found what he wanted, and began to scribble quickly: he wanted this over with, before she woke up.

_My Dearest sister, Scarlett,_

_I am sorry for leaving you in this situation. But at this moment in time, I am unable to take good enough care of myself, let alone another person .I wish with all my heart, that we could stay ,if we did, there would be no future: for either of us._

_You have a chance, Scarlett .You're so young still. You can get an education; have a loving family, friends, and just care about normal things in life. I don't want you to grow up around violence, drugs, pain, and hunger, which is what you are right now._

_That must not continue any longer._

_Actually, at this precise moment, you are asleep. Which is a good thing, as the place we are staying is rather unpleasant._

_I hope you remember me: maybe you won't, but I will always remember you. I am doing this for your own good, because you need better._

_I want you to have a good life: and always know that I love you, unconditionally. I love your soul, I love your heart, and I love the joy that you bring me so often._

_My sister, this love is eternal .Just know this: I shall never let go._

_You must never give up: however hard things may get, remember that I am always here. Be proud of who you are, and don't be afraid to go far in life. Follow your dreams, and stay positive. Keep smiling, you have an amazing smile. You will grow up to be such a beautiful young woman, I can already see it._

_One day, I hope we shall meet again. Away from all of this, somewhere where we are happy, safe, and loved. It may be in this life, or the next. But I know that it will, because fate has a strange way with these things._

_ Until that day, Be strong._

_I love you._

_Yours always,_

_Jack (Your brother)._

_X_

Jack finished his letter, folding it in half, slipping it into Scarlett's coat pocket. She was still peacefully sleeping, blissfully unaware that the next day he would not be there.

He wished he could: he knew she would be angry with him, but the likeliness of her remembering him clearly was slim, due to her age.

Jack didn't know what to do: did he just leave her at the council? Or did he find a fostering and adoption agency and leave her there?

He figured that the best thing to do was have someone adopt her: she was still very little, and people always seemed to prefer little girls over older ones when it came to adoption.

Jack scratched his head, and wiped his tears, choking his sobs back down. He didn't want her to be awake for this, as he cradled her in his arms, whilst walking down a street.

Night was beginning to set in, it would be dark soon. He needed to find somewhere for her, fast.

He wasn't thinking straight: he was too hungry .Maybe, when this was over, he could go back and get some more of that stuff from Jim and Mickey. That stuff made him feel happy, and warm. It wasn't like he had any food to eat, so he figured that was the best thing to supplement his hunger.

Eventually, Jack reached a Government building. He entered, and the staff inside noticed his scruffy attire with distrustful faces. However, when they saw he had a young child, their expressions softened a little: Jack disliked this, he would rather they be angry then feel pity. Pity made him feel weak.

Hesitantly, he went up to the reception desk.

"Excuse me, Sir, have you got a copy of erm…the yellow pages?"

The guy hesitated also, probably fearing this was some sort of prank, but, nevertheless, he got Jack a copy out.

"Here ya go son."  
"Thank you," replied Jack, giving a small smile of appreciation, which was not really returned.

He flicked through, until he got to the heading "Adoption Agencies'' and found out there was one a few blocks away, in Manhattan.

He noted the address, and walked quickly, as he wanted this over soon. It would be too difficult to drag it out and say goodbye: it was easier this way.

Finally, they reached the building. Scarlett was still sleeping, leaning against Jack's shoulder. He breathed in her baby scent, of milk, but also breathed in the smell of tobacco and dirt that they had recently mingled with; breathing it in so deeply that he would never forget her.

She was stirring now: Jack decided to knock, and run. Someone would be in, he figured.

"I guess this is goodbye then," he whispered, stroking her soft wisps of hair, and kissing her cheek, he mumbled "I love you, Scarlett."

Then he knocked, and ran, with tears gushing his cheeks.

He hid in an alley, watching as what he presumed was a social worker picked his sister up, and reading the letter attached to her coat, that read "Please, look after my sister."

He turned away: this was over now. She would be happy, and this was for the best.

For both of them.

* * *

**Sad chapter, I know! But I felt that it was necessary to put in, because I feel that Jack's character would not want his sister to suffer anymore, and this was the only option he had.**

**However, that does not mean that Scarlett will not be reappearing at some point in the future :D**

**In the meantime, Jack's rocky road begins to get rockier…I don't want to just make this a Jack takes every drug possible, blah blah blah story, there will be other stuff going on J**

**So yeh, Read and reviewww please :D! C/C is welcome.**

**xxx**


	7. Drugs rule everything around me

**Chapter 7**

**Hi everyone- I am really sorry for not updating this story. I have just finished my last year of college (or high school as you call it, for all you Americans out there :D), and have been incredibly busy with everything. But I am back now and have a 3 month summer holiday! So updates will be happening.**

**I apologise if my writing is a little rough around the edges- I do have a plot outline and know where this story is going, I just haven't had enough time to write well.**

**This chapter will mostly focus on Jack's addiction and the development of it. I feel this is important as part of his characterisation. **

**If you don't like it, then don't read it- I am thinking of putting this up to an M rating anyways.**

**So, here is chapter 7- called 'Drugs rule everything around me'.**

**Please read and review if you can, as they really are appreciated. C/C is welcome too!**

**Xxx**

Jack hadn't felt happy in the few weeks since he had left Scarlett. Everything had just become one hazy blur for him, merging the lines of reality and his dreams together. Sometimes he would think she was still there, cuddled in his small, white arms, and him singing their happy songs to her, hushing her to sleep. They would fall asleep into a blissful unawareness of the harsh life they had been leading.

But then he would wake up- and remember.

She was gone.

And he was so hungry all the time- so he had resorted to taking what Jim had been eating for so long.

They had now taken roost outside a seedy apartment block, perched on the steps each night. Outside, the corners were owned by the heavily made up women who had red lipstick smeared down their face, and their powder was so thick that it looked as though it were painted on. The cars were shitty little things, and occasionally the women would lean in to the window, and sometimes they would get in. Scruffy young men would wander around, like Jim, Mickey, Pedro and himself begging for a fix, or selling a fix. You could tell no difference- both had hunger in their eyes, glinted by shards of sadness, longing to get away, but unable to quite make it.

One day, in all of this, whilst they were perched on the steps as normal, Jack said to Jim, "Hey man. Gimme some of that stuff. From the needle. That I had the first time."

Jim looked up, sedately.

"What the fuck you on about?" he retorted.

Jack sighed.

"I said, gimme some fucking smack man," grabbing the needle out of Jim's pocket, and saw that there was some left. He plunged it into his little blue vein, falling back into a state of relaxation.

There was no more hunger. There was no more cold. There was no more pain.

For that moment, he was happy.

But then the moment would be gone; the only way to gain it back would be to take it again.

And so Jack Dawson fell promptly into the cycle of addiction; within those weeks, he suddenly couldn't bear to wake up each morning with the utter sadness and despair he felt without taking it. He stuck with Jim, wherever he went. But occasionally, Jim would leave him for the night- on those lonely steps.

Sometimes, the women would approach him, and ask "Hey handsome, you wanna have some head?"

He would refuse each time of course, no matter how many times they complimented his baby faced features, or ran their chapped hands through his rough blonde hair. He felt sorry for them: he didn't want to treat them like every other jerk on the block. He may be a fuck up, but he wasn't a misogynist.

One night, Jim came back with a bag of little white pills- Jack didn't even know what they were. But he took them regardless, in the hope that it would make him happy again. They did; they made him border onto complete and utter euphoria. His heart would beat like crazy, and everything appeared beautiful.

"Jim, you're my brother man. Don't fucking leave, yeah?" he laughed to Jim. Jim would merely nod, snorting white powder that Jack wouldn't touch just yet. He didn't like the idea of putting things up his nose.

They would both lie back, and Jack would try to forget all the shit that had ever happened. He would try to forget his Dad, the beatings, the hunger, Scarlett, his Mother walking out, the fear…..

No. The little pills, needles, and powders took everything away. They washed him clean.

* * *

Jack awoke early one morning in mid-December- he presumed it was. The snow had fallen overnight, wiping any trace of vegetation away, enveloping her white blanket around the city.

He rubbed his hands together. Jim had given him a spare pair of gloves that he had 'borrowed' from someone, but they had now become ripped, threadbare, and barely covered his palms. His clothes had become ragged, with holes appearing in his once navy jeans, and trainers were now scuffed. He didn't even want to look at his reflection – he didn't want to see what he had become.

He was hungry. When would Jim get back? He had gone somewhere last night; Jack didn't usually like to go with him, in case they ran in to danger, which Jim seemed prone to.

He wandered around the streets a little- why were all the shops closed anyway?

Then he realised it must be Christmas Day.

"Fuck," he muttered, "What a way to spend Christmas," he thought, as he lit up a cigarette with a lighter Mickey had given him.

He inhaled deeply, watching the desolate quietness of his surroundings. In spite of everything, the snow was incredibly beautiful. It was as though the snow destroyed all the ugliness. Squinting up, he saw the clouds moving away to reveal rays of the sun, beaming down onto his face.

Jack lay down in the snow, and smoked, watching the sun peep in and out from behind the fluffy grey tinged clouds above him. He was cold, hungry, and alone- but it brought him a little respite from everything. It was just him and the world in that moment; nothing could touch him.

* * *

Jim didn't return for a couple of weeks- in that time, Jack wandered around the streets aimlessly. Occasionally he would sit down on the pavement, take off his hat, and leave it there to see if anyone donated any money into it. He did quite well some days, especially when Mothers walked past with their children- evidently, they saw his youth, and felt sorry for him.

A woman walked past who Jack thought he recognised one frosty afternoon. She stopped, and turned back around to look at him, squinting her eyes together behind her red rimmed designer glasses.

"Jack Dawson?"

He looked up. "Yes?" he answered, unsure of who she was.

She looked concerned at his current physical state.

"Don't you remember me? I'm your teacher from elementary school."

That didn't really narrow it down for Jack.

"Which one?" he asked.

She smiled, gently. Jack thought she was actually a very beautiful woman.

" Kingston Elementary," she replied.

"Oh. Yeah, I remember you now."

Kingston was where he got kicked out of for throwing a chair at one of his fellow pupils. In his defence, the pupil had been harassing him about the holes in his shoes, laughing at him, and calling him a 'poor brat'. But the school didn't really take that into account, of course. Still, he had actually liked his teacher.

"Miss O'Connor, right?" he answered.

She nodded. "That's right. But enough about me," and she sat down next to him, "What on earth are you doing on the streets here, huh? Shouldn't you be in school still?"

He didn't respond.

"You don't have to talk about it, sweetheart. I've seen this before with too many kids to know what's happened to you."

Jack looked up angrily. What the fuck did this woman know about him? She knew nothing.

"Don't presume to tell me what I am and am not doing. You're a teacher, not a social worker. Get outa my face," and pushed her away.

She didn't look as shocked as Jack expected her to; her only reaction was an exasperated sigh.

"Look, Jack. I know what goes on around here. This is where most of my family still live. I got out but…" she drifted off her sentence, getting up from sitting next to him, her high heels clicking against the icy ground.

"I'm not gonna make you go to school or get support sweetheart, but I think you need something," brushing the dirt off her furry brown coat as she spoke to him.

Jack continued to stare at her, watching her open a leather purse, and gave him a card with her personal details on.

"Here's my contact details. You ever need anything, you just call me, right?"

He nodded quickly. "Will do, Miss O'Connor."

She smiled sympathetically at him, before walking away, attempting to navigate through the crowds of people doing shopping. Jack guessed it must have been around New year- It was now January 2005 he presumed.

As darkness drew in, he began to walk home to the place he pitifully called 'home' at this present moment, the steps where the women always stroked his hair. For some reason, despite all the danger, he felt safe there. They all knew who he was; most left him alone in his thoughts to sleep.

A sudden shout from the darkness made him jump.

"Who's there?" he whispered through chatters of his teeth.

A figure emerged from the darkness.

"Jim?"

**So that's all for chapter 7 :D I know that this is quite a gloomy chapter, but I want to highlight all the ups/downs of Jack's story. It will get better, I promise, haha! **

**Did I mention I love reviews :)?**

**Thank you **

**Xxxx**


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